


Stargazing

by PandoraTheExplorer



Category: Teen Titans (Animated Series)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Gen, Suicide Attempt, set during the trigon arc in the animated series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-20
Updated: 2019-03-20
Packaged: 2019-11-26 02:10:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18174446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PandoraTheExplorer/pseuds/PandoraTheExplorer
Summary: Raven plans to end her own life before she can end the lives of billions of people.





	Stargazing

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be for Month of Drabbles 2019 but I'm busy this year so I'm not doing that.

The ground seemed so far away. Raven forgot how high up exactly the roof of Titan Tower was, but it was about ten stories at least. She had jumped off of this roof several times before and caught herself with her flight to quickly arrive on scene for a mission, but now, she nervously sat inches away from the ledge, unwilling to look down. Tonight, when she jumped off of the roof of Titan Tower, she wouldn’t allow herself to fly.

Raven had already sorted out all of her affairs. She had played stankball with Beast Boy, helped Cyborg fix the T-Car, painted Starfire’s toenails, and trained with Robin. Her note was stuck on the fridge in the kitchen using one of Robin’s bat-shaped magnets. The Titans already knew about her father, and what kind of destruction she would bring because of him. In the morning, when they find her body on the ground below and the note on the fridge, everyone would understand why. They would probably be devastated, but they would also agree that it was the best course of action Raven could have done. After all, what was Raven’s life compared to the countless lives on Earth?

Raven shuffled closer to the edge of the roof and peered at the ground again. It would be easy to tilt downwards just a bit more. She didn’t even have to jump. She could just slide off the edge and it would all be over. She could save the world right now, if she just let go.

So why couldn’t she bring herself to do it?

“Hey Raven,” a voice behind her said. Raven almost jumped out of her skin. “What are you doing here?” Beast Boy sat beside her, his legs hanging from the edge the same way Raven’s were.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Raven replied. She couldn’t jump now. It would be upsetting enough for Beast Boy to find her body in the morning. She can’t make him witness her death first hand, not to mention if she jumped now, Beast Boy would probably turn into a bird and catch her. She had to get him to go back to bed.

“I was on my way to the kitchen for a midnight snack and I saw you heading to the roof so I got curious and followed you,” Beast Boy said. “I know why you’re here, Raven,” he said after a long pause.

Raven’s heart sank. “You do?”

“Yup!” Beast Boy grinned. “You want to do some stargazing! I loved stargazing when I was a kid. When I lived in Africa my mom would get this big star chart and my dad would show me every constellation.”

Raven glanced at the night sky. She could only make out a few constellations over the glow of the full moon and the city lights across the water. “The stars are nice,” she admitted.

Beast Boy pointed to a star at the end of a constellation. “You see that?” he said, “That’s the North Star. I know because it’s at the end of the Little Dipper.”

“That’s the Big Dipper,” Raven said, “You can tell because it has a bend on the handle.” She took Beast Boy’s arm and shifted it so that it was pointing to the correct star. “That’s the North Star.”

“Oh,” Beast Boy said. He blushed. “I guess I’m kinda rusty at this whole stargazing thing.” He paused. “What other constellation do you know?” he asked, “Show me all of them!”

“Isn’t it kind of late?” Raven asked.

“If you can stay up this late,” Beast Boy said, “Then so can I!”

Raven sighed. Whether it was in exasperation or relief, she didn’t know. For the next few hours, she sat with Beast Boy on the rooftop of Titan tower, telling him about constellations they could see in the sky and some that they couldn’t. Raven wasn’t aware of how anxious she had felt for the past week until the anxiety slowly ebbed away. Maybe things were not hopeless. Maybe she and her friends could stop the end of the world some other way. Maybe she didn’t need to let go.

It was when the night sky started to turn from dark blue to purple that Beast Boy let out a huge yawn. Aside from night missions, Raven didn’t think any of the titans ever stayed up this late-or rather, this early.

“We should both get to bed,” Raven said, “You look tired.”

Despite the fact that Beast Boy’s room was the closest to the staircase leading from the roof, he insisted on walking with Raven until they had reached her room. Raven stood in her doorway, trying to think of something to say to Beast Boy. What could she say? She couldn’t tell him the truth of why she was on the roof tonight.

Finally, it was Beast Boy that spoke. “You know a lot about stars,” he said, rubbing his eyes tiredly, “can you show me more tomorrow?”

“S-sure.” The word was out of Raven’s mouth before she could stop it.

“Thanks,” Beast Boy gave her a grin. “You’d better not go anywhere, Raven,” he said, “Otherwise, who’s gonna teach me stargazing?”

~

An hour later, when Raven snuck to the kitchen to retrieve her note from the fridge, she found it instead in a crumpled ball in the recycling bin.

**Author's Note:**

> When I first watched season 4 12 year old me thought "If Raven didn't want to end the world why didn't she just kill herself" and I later realized that that would be too dark for a kid's show but yeah.


End file.
